We all experience emotional pain and heartache in life that is difficult enough to endure, so why is it that we continue to relive that pain?
Why is it so hard just to let go of the past and move on?
Whether it’s a past relationship or a failure that you continue to play over and over in your mind, it can sometimes feel like the replay button got stuck in our brain when all we want to do is hit fast forward and forget. It’s hard to let go of certain aspects and events in our past because it means we have to accept that what we wanted to happen didn’t happen. In some cases, it also feels like we are accepting that someone other than ourselves was right.
As challenging as it may seem, you can make the conscious decision to let go.
Here are five ways to start letting go so you can move on with your life:
Chances are, whatever it is that you are holding onto, you are holding onto it because of the guilt you carry for your past mistakes. There are some situations and relationships that we cling to, even if all has been forgiven. The reason we cling on still is likely because we have forgiven everyone else except for ourselves. You may wonder how you can or could have changed something that already happened, which only contributes to your anxiety or ruminating. You are entitled to free yourself from that moment with self-compassion and self-respect. The only thing you should hold on to are the lessons learned.
Have a positive support network
We weren’t meant to do life alone, and we cannot place the expectation on ourselves that we can or should get through pain alone, either. If you are having trouble moving forward, permit yourself to lean on others. It is okay to talk it out – give yourself permission. You might be surprised by how much you can release simply by finally talking through the thoughts that have been trapped in your mind. If you don’t have a family or friend network that you feel comfortable sharing certain things with, therapy is always a safe and judgment-free place to turn to.
Consciously and mindfully think about what happened
Rather than feeling like a past event is taking over your mind, the next time you notice it come up for you, choose to address it rather than suppress it. Sit with that experience one more time, only this time, ask yourself why you think it is that you cannot seem to let go. Cultivate a sense of understanding and compassion as you recall whatever event or person caused you pain. Be willing to get honest with yourself and find freedom in that. Be proud of yourself for addressing your hurt and know that if you can consciously choose to think about your past, you can consciously choose to think about your future.
Sometimes moving forward in life is hard. Trauma can add to your pain and create lingering setbacks that prevent you from healing. Our compassionate team at TMS Washington is here to help you move forward in health and happiness through comprehensive psychiatric care. Reach out today for support!
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